This past year has been a bit of a valley for me. In August of last year, we sold our house with intentions of buying another one with a little more space. In the meantime, we moved into my husband’s grandmother’s house, affectionately known as “The Farm,” during the transition.
After many, many house showings with our extremely patient and wonderful realtor (shout-out to Dathan Phillips), my husband Gary declared that I was looking for Eden, and we gave up our search. Instead, we opted to buy a little acreage and build a house next to some very good friends.
Well, fast-forward a year later, and we are still at “The Farm,”
and we have not even started building. Let’s just say that this whole process,
from buying land to drawing up plans to dirt work and getting bids, has taken a
lot longer than I ever would have imagined.
Before I go on, I want to say that we are extremely grateful
and thankful to family members who were gracious enough to let us stay at “The
Farm” for the past year. Also, I know that many people are going through
situations far more difficult—health issues, death of family members, divorce
and the list goes on. This just happens to be my particular valley…
The first night we moved in at “The Farm,” I remember brown
well water in the bathtub. “Don’t drink it—you’ll get giardia,” said Gary. Good
to know. I have some things to learn about country living. I spent probably the
next solid month cleaning and making room for our family of four, leaving me
exhausted. You see, Gary’s grandmother is living in a nursing home. But all of
her things from the past 50 years are at the house. So naturally, all of our
things would not fit.
Any how, I kind of feel like I’ve been camping for the past
year, or on the show Survivor. It seems like everything that could have gone
wrong with an older home has gone wrong. I can’t remember the exact order of events,
but here are some highlights. The kitchen sink backed up. Yep, no washing
dishes for about three days. The water line in the yard busted, leaving a muddy
lake in the yard. Again, no water in the house. During the winter months, the
heating and air conditioning unit froze up to a solid block of ice too many
times to count. I woke up to the house at 50 degrees on several mornings and
went through more firewood than I thought possible. Let’s see, after a hard
rain the roof leaked leaving a stench of mildew in our bedroom for a few days.
The hot water heater has quit on us—I did the old “heat water on the stove”
thing.
Aside from all the mishaps, the biggest struggle for me living
at the farm has been feeling isolated and lonely at times. We are about 40
minutes away from our old house. I love to have people over, and it’s just
difficult when you’re so far away and out of your element.
So where am I going with all of this? What does the God lens
have to say about it all?
I remember one down day this past winter when I began searching
scripture with tears in my eyes for the words of Paul, who was imprisoned for
his faith.
He said, “I have learned to be content
whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it
is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I
can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13)
I couldn’t help but laugh at myself,
comparing living at “The Farm” to being in prison. Really, Erica?
And then I stumbled upon the most
wonderfully-timed book for my life, One
Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, who urges, “There is always, always something
to be thankful for.”
I began reflecting on the good in my
circumstance. “The Farm” house is located in the middle of hundreds of miles of
farmland directly on the Ouachita River. Yes, the floor in the 50-year old
kitchen may be peeling up and the cabinets falling off the hinges, but who has
miles of pastureland and fruit trees and cornfields and river all at their
doorstep? I have the beauty of God’s creation at my bedside. Talk about looking
for Eden. Yes, there is always something to be thankful for.
I can’t help but think that with all
the delays on our house, God may have wanted me here for a reason. Even though
some days are painful and exasperating and hard, I may be just where He wants
me to be at this time in my life, as much as I don’t like it.
Aside from God fine-tuning my
character, there have been additional benefits to living here: More time with
in-laws—as humorous as this sounds. Truthfully, I think that we have grown
closer to Gary’s family through it all, which is a good thing. His parents are
right down the road. His uncle farms the land, so we see him often. Cousins and
aunts and uncles are always dropping by. Did I mention his cousin actually
lived with us for a few months when we first moved in?
Words from our church’s minister Mike Kellot come to mind: “God
is more interested in your character than your comfort.” He cares more about
your transformation that your current state of happiness. “He loves the
Ultimate You just as much as the Immediate You.” (Ann Voskamp)
So how does he transform the Immediate You into the Ultimate
You that He wants you to be? He lets us go through the valleys. Though they are
hard and long, there is always something to be gained.
My joy does not depend on my circumstance. One thing’s for
sure: As long as I am on this earth, there will still be suffering. Even if I
where to build the perfect house, there would still be suffering in my life. So,
“I press on toward the goal to win the
prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians
3:14)
I embrace the valley. Because I am
becoming more of who God is crafting me to be. I rejoice in the circumstance
that makes me call on Him like never before. As of today, we don’t even have a
start date on the house. And tomorrow I may feel weary. But I continually apply
the lens of truth to my life, so that “I
can do all things through him who gives me strength.”
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all
circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1
Thessalonians 5:16-18)
