Withitness. It’s a
term used in the teaching profession to describe a teacher who has that quality
of being able to always know what’s going on in the classroom. She’s not some
mindless zombie in the front of the room, teaching with her back turned to the
class and oblivious to her surroundings—to the kids talking in the back corner,
to the student on row two with his cell phone behind his binder, to the one
asleep on his backpack. (I’ve come a long way in this area since my first year
of teaching, by the way.)
The first time I heard the term, I thought my graduate
school professor had made it up, but as I continued my career and education in
teaching, I learned that it is a real, universally recognizable term within the
educational world. As an English teacher with a love for words, I coined a
similar term—stickwithitness.
“Stickwithitness”—it’s a quality that’s waning in our
culture. It’s a quality I’ve not always had. It’s a quality that God is growing
in me. So what is it?
The Erica Osborne
Dictionary definition: Stickwithitness [stik-with-it-nes] noun. 1. The
quality of commitment to a cause, even in great difficulty. 2. The ability to
keep going even when you don’t feel all the warm and fuzzies. 3. The vision to
see how the path with the bumps will bring you victory at the end of the race. Synonyms:
endurance, perseverance, steadfastness, dedication, continuance, stamina, grit,
fortitude. Antonyms: fleetingness, indolence, discontentment.
Like I said before, sticking with something has not always
been an area of strength for me. I felt like I had resolve for the things that
counted—commitment to God, my marriage, and my kids. But everything else was
fair game in my mind. If I didn’t like something, why not change it? The
outdated paint color on the walls. The stagnant position of the furniture. My
bland hair color. Where I live. My job. In part, I blame this on my creative
personality. Maybe this is just how God wired me—to constantly think and dream
and rearrange. I’ve always had a sense of adventure imbedded in my soul—a fearlessness
in trying new things. In college, my plan was to move from Baton Rouge,
Louisiana, to New York City. Without a second thought, I hopped on a plane and
went for two internship interviews in the Big Apple. When Gary asked where I
would want to live after he graduated from law school, I said, “Sure, I’ll move
somewhere different.” In my early career in advertising, if I was unhappy with
a career position, I changed it. I’ve moved from a career in advertising to
homeschooling my daughter to now teaching middle and high school English. I
would build a house and sell it if it were up to me. But this thought keeps
stirring: When does constant desire for change become sinful discontentment?
That is the question. I wrestle with my restlessness.
In searching scripture, I cannot help but see the pattern of
a God who values longsuffering and the benefits that come from keeping someone
in the same place for a time. He had no qualm about letting the Israelites
wander aimlessly in the desert for forty years. He allowed his own followers to
be imprisoned in His name. He Himself waits long and patiently for as many to
come to repentance as possible. This quality in scripture of being
longsuffering produced many results: it brought sinners to repentance, it ignited
the message of the gospel, and it molded God’s sons and daughters to resemble
Him more fully. There is nothing like being in a situation in which you do not
want to be, and especially one in which you feel powerless, to bring about an
uncomfortable degree of heart change and a more gripping pursuit of
relationship with God.
One tool that God has used to mature me over the years in
this area is my husband. While I love and thrive on change, he hates it. Once a
piece of furniture has been in the same spot for more than a day, to him, to
move it is heresy. He will ride a train until it runs off the tracks. He appreciates
routine, day in and day out. And because of this, we clash in many areas.
Sometimes I just want to bang my head against a wall in battling his certitude
and opposition to change. But he has been an incredible accountability partner
in not letting me walk away from commitments—even when circumstances were dire
and quitting would have been easy and even understandable. Most recently, the past
three years of working through graduate school while teaching four different
grades at the same time produced many moments of, “Is this even worth it, God?”
Many late nights of work and tears in trying to balance doing a good job with
being a present mom and wife pushed me to my limits. Quitting most definitely
crossed my mind. But Gary encouraged me to stay. And I implored God for wisdom and
guidance in the situation. Ultimately, I continued and finished grad school,
and now I am teaching and influencing my own daughter and her friends in my
sixth grade English class. Had I quit, I would not be in this rewarding
position.
In my younger years, I would not have even asked God for His
input. I would have acted based on my own fickle feelings. Sometimes in having
the “stickwithitness” to walk through a place of wilderness and ask God for His
will, he will in turn give you the will and strength to keep going through the
hard time. And in turn, he will tinker with your character, producing a
steadfastness that was not there before.
Yes, sometimes He does call us or release us to move on to
new things that are in accordance with scripture. But in this ever-changing culture
that says to move on when you’re not happy, we need believers who will pursue
God over the next enticing thing—who will be willing to stick with what He has
put before them, who will allow scripture to speak louder than an inner misguided
voice. We need believers who will, instead of changing marriages, allow God to change
their hearts. We need believers who will weigh the weight and value of all they’ve
invested in a work to ask God for His heart before they easily walk away. Sometimes
He may say give us clearance and peace in making a change. But other times He
may use the many ways he speaks to us—His Word, wise counsel from other Godly
people, or a sense of internal unrest about an idea or detriment to unity in
relationships—to keep us on the same path.
Sometimes the change you may be craving is actually a change
within yourself and not that of your surroundings.
